For a long time, I have kept a record of prayers–I’ve never been sure of what to make of them, much less what to do with them. They are poems, I suppose, but more so they are just honest reflections of my prayer life put to words.
I decided to just post a few of them with the hope that maybe they would be helpful, enjoyable, and pray-able for others. They are a few years old, and I have revised them a little bit as I’ve gotten some distance from them. I’m happy that some prayers are the same for me, and that some have changed.
3-25-10
David was not a god, but I am so jealous
of his heart, and how close he was to you.
Make me that close;
make my heart so big.
I want to slay giants
and behead them,
place them on sticks
for all to see,
to be bloody for my God,
to imitate Samuel
and prophesy without control,
as my Saul tries to overcome me,
as I clip his robe in triumph—
God, make me more solid today;
condemn my wickedness.
I am a weak man, full of pride:
open my closed fists,
slay my violent heart.
4-20-10
It rained today a little
and I had a great supper
Help me find you better
in my every day walking steps,
help me fly to depths
where the light is hidden,
yet ablaze with purpose,
as the eagle intent on flight,
hidden in a mountain crag
Help me see everyone but myself:
make me lowly in my high place
I want to fly
but I am sunk in dirt
Help me flourish in the garden
where you planted me
(I think it was just last spring
that I first learned
to grow)
4-25-10
Help me dig in the Word
where untold stories take root,
where my eyes yearn to bloom
grow
and flourish
There will be trouble, he said,
but I have overcome this world, and I bet
Jesus loves the sound of this spring rain
almost as much as the trees,
who soak in its life,
and by twisting, desperate roots,
drink up this sweet spring rain
so much, and sometimes,
how different we are from the trees
Please, my Christ,
let me soak up
your water
so much
that I simply burst
10-18-10
how i long for you, father
you met my weakness with ferocity,
waves crashing after waves
you embraced my depravity, pulled
me up out of the depths, and i breathed.
my father, carrying me:
my spirits are lifted by your breath in me
and your life is yet life, in me
father, Lord over the waters,
descend again and again to me
i need you every day and hour,
for my fears need conquering,
and i call you Conqueror;
tether me closer and closer,
my ocean-anchor,
my gentle captain
now waves after crashing waves
are such sweet music:
and my father is the mighty song
4-6-10
O Trinity, the world is good:
my friends smile,
laying on soft grass in the courtyard,
throwing discs, rugby balls, stories,
ignoring responsibilities.
I find new songs today for you,
a thousand songs for your name:
the whole earth cries out your praise
and so will I!
For this earth is whole and so am I,
and Jesus you are whole
and Father you are whole
and Spirit you are whole.
Give me the movement of your shining, shaking
world,
help me tremble in the joy of this innocent hour,
so that when I walk
the whole earth sings
of the living God who walks with me.
11-19-11
your unparalleled parables,
small blazing lights
ignite within me a strange undoing
of heart and presupposing thought,
like grenades in a cramped
and cluttered mind,
a clarity undone by ancient prose
(and everywhere the kingdom grows)
I bow to this eternal plot: my savior’s words
such mysteries so full and deep
let me forget myself in you
and let my heart be wrecked and torn
if that is what you feel so I
desire to feel brokenness
but in your winding winning words
let me rest and be restored
those wondered lights create my path
that lead me to your mind so deep
(and all this time will bow to space
when I am with you at the gates)
1-12-13
Jesus let me praise You with my words
though they are feeble, limited and bland
You are the sweetest breath—the strongest wind!
You conquered death before I ever feared
You fill up forests with your mystery
You whisper grace into the dying throngs
The dying eagle hears your Calvary cries
He lifts his head, acknowledges the Lord!
I wonder in the darknesses of day
about the Light you shine within my chest
Poke holes in me, like yours if I can bare
to shine your likeness in a dimming land
for you can puncture wounds and make them Love
and be the river washing clean the world!
4-4-13
Jesus: every drop of water
every drop of red
every bread-crumb broken:
the son of man, my only friend
the only guide in the dark world,
the sole rock of the soiled earth
I lift my eyes to you
and your face
I weep, sweep my tears
steal my sorrow from sight
I am unworthy of you
I am no true Israelite
no centurion
but a sinner with wet eyes
a sinner without excuse
a sinner with hands ascending
Lord God
teach me again
to fear the waters
to be washed by them
to hear the old fathers
to praise the Almighty
and deny the self
I need your every drop
your every crumb:
Jesus
I am thirsty
Jesus
I am hungry
4-17-13
O Lord my God, redemption (spelled in blood)
your justice captures me, I freeze, ensnared;
I ache under the iron chains I locked,
I fear the death, my sentence soon impends—
and wait—a man has blood poured in a bowl—
he stands a witness from the Skull, Golgotha—
he dips his shining hand under the red
and smears the crimson life across my head.
I am stained afresh with dripping life!
The chains fall off, they transform into bread—
the angel passes over me—I rest—
my God, my Christ, is making all things new!
This broken bread repairs my shattered heart!
The morning comes—hold on—I feel its warmth!
